I've noted how common it is for us to avoid setting goals for things that matter most. Each time I prompted people to write their goals down, I repeatedly observed that the most valued aspirations had the skimpiest goals. This gap, the Delmore Effect, shows up whenever people value something so highly that they end up actively avoid concrete planning. Apparently, intense desire can mobilize anxiety about failure, which pushes us away from effort to make the desire explicit.
Public commitments, to be sure, can be an effective behavioral lever, in cases far beyond just wedding vows. But let's recall that even writing something down, on a scrap of paper seen only by you, already begins to tap into the mojo derived from goal-setting.
My interest in the impact of anxiety should not suggest that it is the driving force behind all of the many biases that block us from acting rationally in the pursuit of our self-interest. Only further experiments could quantify how much of the Delmore Effect is caused by anxiety.
In my career, most product people seem to focus on the the rational paths of utility maximizers. Wherever possible, we should mobilize available means for soothing emotional distress. An ordinary person, at rest, is typically in some mild level of annoyance. This isn't a recent development; for thousands of years, it's been the first Noble truth of Buddhism. Now, add your product's challenges to the user's default mode, which already starts at a low-humming irritation. Little moments of curiosity, distraction or pleasure are going to be welcome. A recent psych study found that when people are left in a boring situation, they prefer the option to give themselves shocks rather than endure the tedium.
There's one well-known technique that consistently proves to help allay anxiety about failure. Carol Dweck has spent her career showing how Mindset matters. When people assume that their ability is already determined, they tend to focus on their performance as being diagnostic of their competence, and attention snags on how that could expose them to being judged negatively. Merely anticipating such judgement pushes people to avoid significant risk of failure. This is called a "Fixed Mindset." An alternative framing is available, since the "Growth Mindset" directs attention toward development of skills over time. Instilling a belief that one can change over time mobilizes attention to progressively build up strength via practice. Examined from the perspective of a growth mindset, even failure can be seen as a positive force for improvement.
To recap, we've outlined techniques that help us move directly toward long held dreams.
Recall successes from a separate, lower-stakes area
Adopt a growth mindset
To get a direct sense of how useful these techniques may be, try the following steps. Your own experience will guide your judgement about when to apply these methods.
Bring to mind a time where you were favorably surprised by your ability to deal with some small, but difficult, situation. (Completing a hike, cooking a new recipe, etc)
Think of one area of your life where you really hope to grow over the coming year.
Adopt a Growth Mindset: Treat this opportunity to set your goal as a skill-building exercise. Your approach here will be one of many opportunities to develop mastery.
Write down a specific, challenging objective for the area you identified in step 2.
In two minutes or less, list three concrete tiny baby steps that move toward your goal. Identify a defined time frame by which you plan to do it.
My next post will discuss how to deploy flow and streak mechanics to sustain effort in reaching toward these goals. I'll explain how they come into play for product designers.